I generally prefer not to talk about myself or my feelings in my blogs (ironic isn't it since I'm doing that right now haha ah well) because I realize that people are, naturally, far more interested in what I think than in who I am. Heck, I'm like that too. I read books because I am curious about what the author has to say rather than because I care about the author. Of course, later I might start actually caring about the author because this person has created so much wonderful work for me and others to enjoy.
I do talk about little incidents that happen to me, but I'm not really talking about myself exactly. I just like to talk about stuff that happened to me but that could also happen to others. For that reason, I try to avoid talking about anything personal or sad or not fun. Today I'm going to write a little blog that's kind of an exception to that rule. It won't be sappy or over-dramatic, I promise. Or self-pitying. Or bitter (at least, I hope it isn't.)
DISCLAIMER: when I talk about "they" or "people" or "classmates," realize I'm not saying EVERYONE is the way I describe them in the following ramblings. There are a lot of people I love and respect but some of my peers just...confound me, and these are the ones I'm talking about in the next paragraphs. If I offend you, I apologize ahead of time, but remember, I'm not talking about everyone...just some people.
Sometimes I come home from school feeling worn out in a way that I can't explain. I think it's because I often don't get excited about the stuff that people usually get excited about. A lot of my classmates get excited over anything that has a sexual connotation; nothing wrong with that, it's just that all these sex jokes kind of bore me. They get all whipped up (at this point I know at least one person who will yell THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID when reading the phrase "whipped up") over That's what she said jokes. I don't mind those - I do get a chuckle out of them at times - but I get more excited over small and admittedly dorky things like cookies or treehouses or the sky that looks so beautiful today. Yeah, I probably sound like a sap for staring at clouds for like 10 minutes. (but clouds truly are fascinating! They're so similar and yet so different. They look like they don't move but they're constantly changing. Some are wispy, some are fluffy like the best quality pillows people could ever make except BETTER...and I could go on about clouds and how freaking unassuming yet gorgeous they are, but I won't don't worry lol)
Mmm continuing on this "rant"...people never me seriously. It's just a fact and one that I"m getting used to. When I'm joking they laugh; when I'm being serious they laugh even more. It's not their fault they don't "get" me; I don't understand them well either. I know that no one is under any kind of obligation to understand me. Being understood is a luxury. Still, I feel tired because I try so hard to understand high school and teh way it works, and it's been almost four years now and I'm still as lost and oblivious about how it functions and what's considered awkward and not awkward. Some people I know laugh for 30 minutes at a time over sex jokes and then they accuse ME of being awkward. I'm thinking hello? I'm not the one who gets all my laughs out of penis or vagina jokes. Jeez. It's like sex jokes/That's what she said jokes are becoming the knock knock jokes of high school. Funny at first, and then they get old fast. But people still abuse them relentlessly.
There are other things about high school that I don't understand, but I won't detail them because then this blog would be like a gazillion pages long. I guess that's why sometimes I prefer to be alone, because then I feel less lonely.
So I'm going to end the rant here for fear of sounding like a total whiner or drama queen :) haha But a girl's gotta rant once in awhile, yes?
Oh, and one more thing. It bothers me a little that a lot of people think I'm dumb. When I qualified for National Merit Semifinalist, let's just say that more than one person reacted with, "Whaattt? YOU got national merit? I didn't know you're smart enough to!"
Yeah, that's pretty uncalled for, don't you think?
Can't a girl talk about dessert and Smart Cars and Twilight and guys in short shorts and be smart still?
Vivian
